What if you’re one of those parents who can’t stand your kids getting out of line, or if you have kids who need to sit down in the back of the classroom because they are just not comfortable enough?
Here’s what you need to know.
It’s okay to get your kids into troubleIf you think it’s rude or insensitive to sit your kids down for a lesson, it’s okay.
That’s what parents who have been in this situation have learned, says John Henson, the executive director of the Parents, Teachers, and Advocates Association.
Henson says kids can’t be left in the dark or afraid to ask questions about things like where their parents are living.
So parents should always ask about the other parent’s location, the number of bedrooms, and what kind of food they have.2.
If your child’s behavior changes, you should get helpThe parents who need help should get in touch with the school district or other school authorities to get them counseling, he says.
And if they need to have an assessment, the school will have to schedule an appointment with the therapist.3.
It doesn’t matter if you or your child is a freshman or sophomoreHenson adds that there are no rules about when kids can get in trouble, and the students don’t have to answer questions about where their parent lives.
And parents shouldn’t be punished for asking questions.
“The student can’t get into trouble for not answering the questions, but if he says something inappropriate to his parents or to you, you can’t ask him to stop or punish him,” he says, adding that the student doesn’t have the right to say anything he doesn’t want to hear.4.
It isn’t your faultThe parent who was the most aggressive with the kids might not have been the most supportive, but the parent who didn’t take the full brunt of the criticism has the responsibility, says Jennifer Coughlin, a University of California, Irvine, professor of psychology and human development who researches parental and child-rearing practices.
If parents think their kids are being too aggressive or too harsh with one another, they needn’t be, Coughling says.
“If you’re not being aggressive or harsh with them, it is your fault.”5.
Kids are different, so it’s your responsibility to teach them how to be respectfulParents should try to take their kids to school, Cuffins says.
They should teach them to respect other people, even if that means sitting on the side of the room and waiting for people to leave.6.
The way you handle it depends on the situation, but you can still learn from itHenson agrees.
“Sometimes it’s good to sit and be gentle with your kids, but it’s not always okay to be rude or confrontational,” he explains.
If they are acting out, parents need to work with them to be more careful and respectful, he adds.7.
You’re not aloneWhen it comes to your kids’ safety, Cougins says parents should be prepared for everything that’s happening around them, from school to work, to their social life.
“I think there’s no question that we need to teach kids to be responsible,” she says.
But if they can’t do that, she says, parents can still take time out of their day to talk about it with their kids.
“It’s not a bad thing,” she adds.8.
Kids aren’t going to forget about youIf you have questions about your kids or what’s happening at home, Couchins says it’s important to be aware that you’re still a parent.
“Kids are very self-aware and they’ll make mistakes,” she explains.
And you can help yourself by making sure your kids understand that the school is there to support them and that you’ll be there to help.
“You have to make sure they understand what’s going on and you’re going to be there for them,” Couchlins says.
She adds that parents should talk about what they’re doing at home and how to make it better.
“Make it clear to them that you want them to succeed, you want to make them feel welcome, and you want your support to be the best thing that happens to them,” she suggests.